А у вас есть аварийный план на случай зомбопокалипсиса?

Есть очень интересная бесплатная система учета СВТ и связанных с ней ресурсов - SpiceWorks. (на самом деле это не только учет компьютеров, а довольно мощная система мониторинга сети и т.п.) Локальный сервер, точнее - его веб-интерфейс, тесно интегрирован с "домашним" сервером разработчиков, поэтому в одном окне браузера мы можем как обслуживать свои инвентарные списки, так и участвовать в работе сообщества (SpiceWorks community).
Среди прочего, в сообществе огромный форум со множеством направлений и тематик. Было бы странно, не окажись там уголка (а скорее всего - далеко не одного), где усталые компьютерщики могли бы отвести душу и расслабится. Один из таких форумов называется Water Cooler (охладитель воды). В этой группе попалась ссылка на статью в разделе "how-tos" ("советы как что-то сделать"). Меня несколько удивило название совета и я прочел его.
Как говорится, рыдалЪ: Ensure your DR Plan is ready for a Zombie Apocolypse^* - Убедитесь, что в вашем плане восстановления после аварии предусмотрен и случай зомбопокалипсиса.

(a little tongue in cheek humor on a serious subject)
Disaster Recovery Planning is one of the most important tasks that we as admins perform, and we need to plan for all problems. When was the last time you watched a zombie flick and there weren't computer problems. Do you want to be one of the admins who blows your uptime metrics because all you care about is tasty brains or would you rather be able to proudly announce "I survived a zombie apocolypse and I still have five nines of uptime?"

(немного смеха по серьезному поводу)

Планирование действий на случай аварий - одна из важнейших задач, выполняемых нами, админами, и наши планы должны предусматривать все возможные проблемы. Вы же не хотите, чтобы аптайм ваших систем обнулился из-за того, что вы не сможете думать ни о чем, кроме вкусных мозгов, правда? Напротив, вы, скорее всего, захотите быть одним из тех, кто с гордостью заявит: "я пережил зомбопокалипсис и аптайм моей системы по-прежнему пять девяток"


Под катом - английский оригинал, позже постараюсь сделать перевод.

1.	Have the right equipment in stock and accessible Have you ever tried to find your chainsaw and sawed off shotgun in a disorganized mess when you really need them, not fun. In advance of a zombie apocolypse make sure that you have chain saws, baseball bats, shotguns, and plenty of ammunition stocked in both your server room and office in well organized cabinets. Break out the P-Touch labeller and make sure everything is well marked. Have a sign out sheet on the cabinet and make sure you restock anything that is taken regularly. You don't want to try and remember who took the last box of shotgun shells and didn't tell anyone to reorder more when zombies are beating down the door.
2.	Know your routes to the server room You are going to need to protect your servers, the last thing you want is to have your uptime metrics blown because a zombified Bill from accounting got in the server room and started chewing on power cables. Have a route map to the server room including alternate paths mapped out in advance. You don't want to have to think about how to get around one zombie hoard while running from another. Planning is the key to success.
3.	Plan your barricades in advance Make sure that you have all of your barricade material purchased in advance and stored in the server room, this is doubly important if you have many glass windows. Don't forget to stock extra nails, have you ever tried to pick up what you need at Home Depot during a zombie apocolypse? It is worse that black friday and the sales staff may want to eat your brain even more than they do in the Christmas shopping season. If you don't know everything you need consult your building maintanence staff.
4.	Think about power Make sure that you have a proper generator and working battery backups for your datacenter. Knowing local government they don't have a proper DR plan for a zombie attack, so you can expect the power to go out. Do you really want to lose your five nines because some guy at the power company didn't plan as well as you did?
5.	Redundant Internet and SLAs Make sure you have redundnant Internet connections and that the SLA for each provider has provisions for a zombie apocolypse. If you have a 4 hour SLA on two independant providers one of them should be able to keep you up. If not make sure you have a recourse to get your losses recouped when the world is done ending.
6.	Practice Practice Practice You want to test your DR plan regularly, I would advise quarterly. Identify the members of your user community who are most like zombies and ask them to participate in a simulated zombie apocolypse. They will feel good because they can contribute to keeping the systems they depend on up and you know the plan works. Please note that live ammunition is not required during a simulation.

Conclusion

If you follow these simple steps all you have to do during a zombie apocolypse if hole up in the server room and fend off the zombie hoard and when it is all over you can go to your boss (assuming he was not turned in to a zombie) and ask for that raise, because you kept five nines of uptime when the world was ending. If you don't get that raise put this feat on your resume and go looking for a new job. It is an employee's market in a post apocolyptic future.

* Apocolypse - опечатка в этом слове авторская, а не моя. Именно так оно выглядит и в тексте.